Your Legs Cannot be Hairy
by stelladelnordxd
Summary: A god-son and a god-father are already inseperable, but does the order REALLY need someone with a pun in their name? They think not. Sirius/Harry bonding Goodness. No romance involved.


**Author's Note: **So, this is just a little one-shot that I came up with just recently, while typing up the rest of my first trilogy. Anyways, so I'll tell you a little story, that got this one-shot stuck in my head. A long time ago, I read a _great_ Sirius/Harry bonding story, by an author I cannot quite remember... wish I did though... anyways, at the end of her story... might've been a one-shot but meh... I'm rambling...

At the end of the story/or/one-shot, the author had written a little question asking someone to use Harry's name as a pun... of course, I'm not to sure if someone has already done this, but pray-tell, does it really matter? So, after **MANY** months of waiting for the perfect non-plot, plot-bunny (cool eh?), I have finally come up with one. So, HERE WE GO! :D

Also, sorry for any spelling errors. I'm seriously better at the English language, I just have a really BAD keyboard /

_**Some Notes to Remember: **_This story is an AU one, as in Sirius isn't dead, which will be explained later. Also, I can't remember if the "Saving People Thing" was in the books or not, so sorry to whoever made it up IF it wasn't.

**Just Some Pun.**

**A Oneshot.**

_**By Jamie.**_

It was a fine morning in the house of 12 Grimmauld Place, with the sun just rising from its late night sleep, letting the moon hide until it was needed again. While most residents were just awakening, two residents, a god-father and a god-son, had been up for hours talking to one another. It was true, that both people rarely slept anymore, for they looked forward to their late-night conversations that made them bond with one another. You could see it in the both of them right away, for the eldest one, a man in his early to mid thirties, had big baggs under his eyes, which were sometimes bloodshot if he didn't have his morning cup of 'joe. His hair was always messy, but when he didn't sleep, it was messier then usual... and then there was the plain simple fact that this man, with no sleep, was much more... what was the word again? Oh yes, cynical... If this man did not sleep, he was much more cynical then usual. The god-son, even though not related in any way by blood, was just like his god-father if he did not sleep. But instead of being more cynical without his sleep, he had a more sarcastic tone set upon him, which everyone, disliked about him, and would scatter immediately if his sarcasm was directed at them.

These two "gods" happened to be Sirius Black and Harry Potter, masters of being best friends to the eyes of others, but in reality, were just really close. As the two men sat at the table cutting up juciy strawberries, Sirius just happened to sigh and roll his eyes at something his god-son had said.

"No Harry, this strawberry is not giving me a hard time."

"Are you sure about that dear god-father? You've cut yourself god know's how many times in the past 5 minutes because of this strawberry." Harry smirked, biting the inside of his cheek to keep himself from laughing. He couldn't quite understand why he was becoming so close to his god-father, but he sure as hell didn't mind it either. After-all, in his own humble opinion, which he had told no one but Hermione, Sirius was not like the father he never had. He was the father he never had. He was his father... so to speak. For once in his life, he felt comfortable around his god-father, not walking on eggshells about everything he said, involving Voldemort, the Dursley's, his anger, or his parents, which was shocking to everyone. Harry told Sirius everything, even if he wasn't quite sure how Sirius would react.

"I am absolutely positive this strawberry is not giving me a hard time," Sirius growled, getting Harry out of his thoughts and into reality. Harry smiled and shooked his head, letting out the laugh he'd held in for too long. When Sirius glared at him like he was ready to catch his prey, Harry immediately shut up, and rolled his eyes, throwing a strawberry at Sirius. Sirius immediately stopped trying to cut his strawberry and looked up, to see his god-son shaking uncontrollably with laughter. As Sirius put down his knife, and strawberry, he got up and walked over to Harry.

"You know something Harry...?" Sirius began, leaving an air of suspense.

"What Siri?" Harry asked, rolling his eyes, catching a glimpse of something red behind Sirius. Smirking, he got up and walked to the other end of the table, grabbing a small, harmless kitchen knife... oh how blind his god-father could be at some points.

"I think that you should be learnt a valuable lesson of throwing food at me."

"Oh yeah? Pray-tell, how do you plan on making me learn said lesson?" I asked, arching my eyebrow, using my wand to slightly dull the knife, just in case. My smirk grows wider, and right before Sirius can throw his strawberries, a tired Remus walks in, yawning, and mumbling something.

"Huh?" The both of us say.

"I said, Sirius put down those strawberries, and Harry, put the knife away." I put my head down and growl.

"Come on Mr.Moon," I smirk, knowing he absolutely detests that nickname I called him when I was young - "You ruined our fun." I hear Sirius laugh and look over at him to see he is shaking with laughter. I cock my head to the side, and then shake it, walking away knowingly that the two of them would get into another quarrel...

Sitting down at the couch with some strawberries on his lap, Harry began cutting the tops off, throwing them into the bowl that was being used for a quick garbage. After about 5 minutes of cutting, Harry felt a pressure beside him on the couch, and inwardly smiled. Sirius could somehow always make him smile, and he sighed, smirking at the missing strawberries.

"Siriusssssss" he whined, rolling his eyes at his immaturity but knowing it'd work. He saw Sirius roll his eyes in turn, and laugh before smacking Harry's head.

"Owww, you ass." I laugh, shaking my hair, being hit once more.

"What the f--"

"HARRY" Sirius yells, laughing at my incompetence... I think.

"What?"

"Stop swearing, you know I dislike it." I roll my eyes and laugh, knowing Sirius was right, when I said the worse ones then ass.

"I only said ass."

"You were going to say fuck" In turn I smacked his head, and laughed when he turned to glare at me. I laugh harder, and then go back to cutting up some strawberries, remembering the nightmare I had last night, immediately sobering me up. It was a horrible dream, one in which everyone I loved was killed by me... I guess you could say I'm not quite over my possession from Christmas. I couldn't lose someone so close to me, especially Sirius. I remember almost losing him at the end of my fifth year, because I had been gullible enough to believe he was in danger... I guess Hermione was right when she said I had a "saving people thing". Shaking my head, I remember the day so brilliantly... like it had just happened.

_As I fought with the person behind the cloak, I felt a shroud of nervousness fly into me, and I couldn't help but pause my step, and my casting, which turned out to be a bad thing. I fall to my knees and my wand falls from my hands, which causes me to groan in aggrivation. I try to get up, but cannot, so I instead, slide myself over to my wand... why oh why did it seem to be getting farther and farther away each time? I pound my head on the floor and growl, trying to crawl closer. I suddenly stop, my heart aching as I am forced to look up. Above me, I see the person I was fighting, and I realize that it is because of him that this is happening. Because of him, I can barely move, and I am aching all over._

_I try to get up once more, but cannot, and see the large man smirk... why does he look so familiar? I shake my head and growl, and hear a soft snarl._

_"Say goodbye to your god-father, Potter" My eyes widen, as I look over to him, seeing him fighting near some sort of curtain with Bellatrix Lestrange. I look up to the Death Eater, and see that he unmasked himself. He was none other then..._

_"Pettigrew" I growl, trying to get to my wand even a little bit more. I see him smirk once more, before I hear his silent mumbles..._

_"For years, I've been trying to find a way... no, my master, has been trying to find a way. A way that could be the death of you. Poor old Harry Potter. But what the bloody hell could that have possibly been?" He mumbled slash snarled, glaring in Sirius' direction. My eyes widen, and as I look towards Sirius, then back to the rat, I knew what he was talking about instantly._

_This whole thing, all of it. It was just a bloody ploy. A ploy to get me here, to hurt me far more than I could ever be hurt. To kill me, not only physically, but emotionally, because they knew, just as much as I knew. Without Sirius in my life, I would be absolutely nothing. I squeeze my eyes tight, opening them again to see Sirius fall back.._

_"NOOOO" I scream, going forward as fast as I could. I see Sirius still, and I start crying..._

I thought it was over then. But I guess it wasn't. Within a couple of weeks, I learned Sirius had only been hit by a spell that made him sleep for a certain amount of time. 'Twas silly, that's for sure. I shake my head, ridding myself of the thoughts that could get me in tears once more. I sigh, and realize my finger was bleeding for not paying any attention... oops. I look up to see Sirius looking at me, worried etched over his facial features.

"I'm fine," I say, shrugging it off and sucking my bloody finger... ew.

"Riiiighhhht." He replies, rolling his eyes. "You're fine, and my legs are hairy." He replies. Now, for those that don't know, Sirius' legs are _**never**_ hairy, because well, the bloody guy shaves them... wierdo. Laughing, I roll my eyes.

"Sirius"

"Mhm."

"You're legs cannot be hairy." I say, smirking, knowing my mother would probably be turning in her grave.

"And why's that?" He replies, arching his eyebrow, actually looking for any hairs on his legs.

"You're legs can't be hairy because** I'm **Harry!" I laugh. I see Sirius look up from his leg, and smirk.

"My god, Lily Potter named her kid with a pun!" At this, we both look at one another and laugh, knowing that we have another thing in common. Names with puns. Pun names. It was just too great. As I got back to cutting the strawberries, I heard Sirius mumble, "Because you're Harry... hairy... Harry... HAIRY, HARRY! HAHAHHAHA!"

Rolling my eyes, I smirk, wondering when the next time I can use that pun on someone.


End file.
